Meditation Episode: Joy

Welcome to Depth & Dignity and the final episode of season 1, a guided meditation focused on joy.

Disarming the Inner Critic

If you've got a noisy inner critic, this episode is for you!

I learned these strategies from Tara Mohr in her wonderful book, Playing Big.

https://www.taramohr.com/the-playing-big-book/

Meditation Episode: Agility

This episode is a guided meditation. I recommend listening while lying down, with a pillow under your head and your knees, covered with a blanket to keep warm. Gather whatever you need, and choose a quiet spot.

In this practice, you will:

• Use opposites to anchor into the present moment and to shift out of reactive patterns

• Use paradox to move beyond judgment, expectation, and either/or thinking

• Hold space for the possibility of both/and

• Create space for responses that honor who you are and how you want to be in this world.

Difficult & Painful Emotions

This week is about feeling the hard feelings.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Alma

The 988 Lifeline

Kristin Neff - The Self-Compassion Institute

Feel It All: Emotions as Messengers

Emotions are messengers. They aren’t good or bad, right or wrong. They’re natural and normal, and they give us information about ourselves.

Emotional agility is a term coined by psychologist Susan David. Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.

Dr. David shares common but ineffective responses to strong emotions.

Bottling - Nothing to see here
Brooding - Constant storm cloud
Forced Positivity - Everything is wonderful
Co-brooding - Bringing other people into the storm 

And three questions to ask instead:

- Am I treating myself with kindness? 
- What is my emotion trying to tell me?
- What is one step I can take toward addressing the issue?

Poem shared in this episode: The Guest House by Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks with John Moyne

Books for this and upcoming episodes on emotions:

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown

Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David.

Relationships & Repair

It doesn’t take a Harvard Study to recognize how important relationships are, but I want to share one with you that probably reinforces what you already know and may deliver a surprise or two.

The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study on Happiness by Robert Waldinger, MD & Marc Schultz, PhD

And also, a strategy for strengthening relationships when we inevitably mess up.

We Can Do Hard Things: Episode 267 - The #1 Relationship Strategy with Dr. Becky Kennedy

As always, take what works, leave what doesn’t.

How You Breathe Matters

You can influence your heart rate, respiratory rate, muscle tension, pain level, mood, digestion, brain function, and sleep quality with better breathing.

With an average breathing rate of 14 times per minute, 840 times per hour, and over 20,000 times per day, how you breathe matters.

Three tips for breathing well.

• Breathe through your nose whenever possible.

• Guide your inhalation to the bottom of your rib cage.

• Slow your breathing down.

Try it along with the cues, and find what works for you.

What’s on the Chopping Block

In this episode, I answer one of the questions from last week: Are there things you keep doing even though you know if you didn’t, you’d feel better?

I’m making changes in my social media and news intake.

If your brain also feels like it’s been in a blender after time on social media or your heart feels hopeless after doomscrolling, I invite you to join me.

From the episode: The Atlantic - An Ongoing Tradition

Make Space for What Matters Most: Part 2

What’s truly important, and what can be cut? If you have more to do than you can get done, this is for you.

In part 2, you’ll celebrate what’s going well, identify what’s being neglected, and make an action plan.

What you keep and what you cut, what you celebrate and what you focus on - it’s entirely up to you. But if you don’t get clear on what those things are, someone else will be happy to direct how you spend your time, money, attention, and energy. The distractions are plentiful and loud, and we’re here to make space for what matters most.

The prompts are in last week’s episode and available for download (PDF).

If nothing else, start with the cuts. Pull the weeds, trim the branches, clear the clutter. Make space.

Make Space for What Matters Most

What’s truly important, and what can be cut? If you have more to do than you can get done, this is for you.

Have you ever seen a values list? They have dozens of appealing words, usually in alphabetical order, lined up and ready for you to circle your favorites as your core values. I haven’t found it to be very helpful in providing clarity or effective in making changes. 

So, I stopped asking people to circle words and started asking questions instead.

The questions are in the episode, and they’re also compiled in a PDF for you to download.

I call the process Life Pruning. The point of the questions is to spotlight what’s important to you. The process is designed to deliver insights and aha moments. Because in the busyness of daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most while getting overwhelmed by distractions. 

What you keep and what you cut, what you celebrate and what you focus on - it’s entirely up to you. But if you don’t get clear on what those things are, someone else will be happy to direct how you spend your time, money, attention, and energy. The distractions are plentiful and loud, and we’re here to make space for what matters most.

Download the PDF, and then all you need is a notebook, pen, and some time to write.

Bring your answers back for Part 2 in next week’s episode.

Meditation Episode: Dignity

This episode is a guided meditation. I recommend listening while lying down with a pillow under your head and knees, covered in a blanket to keep warm. Gather whatever you need, and choose a quiet spot.

The meditation is focused on recognizing your own value and worth and incorporates the 10 essential elements of dignity from Dr. Donna Hicks.

• Acceptance of Identity

• Inclusion

• Safety

• Acknowledgment

• Recognition

• Fairness

• Benefit of the Doubt

• Understanding

• Independence

• Accountability

Thank you for listening to Depth & Dignity. New episodes drop on Mondays.

Join the mailing list at join.jenwilking.com to receive a weekly note from me and access to podcast extras.

Music by Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com

Seeing Humans = Honoring Dignity

This week, we expand on what it means to practice seeing humans and explore the 10 essential elements of dignity from Dr. Donna Hicks.

• Acceptance of Identity

• Inclusion

• Safety

• Acknowledgment

• Recognition

• Fairness

• Benefit of the Doubt

• Understanding

• Independence

• Accountability

https://drdonnahicks.com/

Join the mailing list at join.jenwilking.com to receive a weekly note from me and access to podcast extras.

Music by Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com

Questions for reflection:

• Were any of the ten elements particularly effortless or particularly challenging for you?

• What would it look like to treat everyone—including yourself—with dignity? 

• What would it be like if our value and worth were recognized on a daily basis? What could come of it?

• Can you imagine how much healing there would be, how much suffering could be avoided if we replaced judging, rejecting, shaming, ignoring, threatening, and gaslighting with dignity?

Practice Seeing Humans

What happens if we assume people are doing their best?

What would it look like if we gave up the roles of judge and jury?

How could we honor dignity for ourselves, for our loved ones, for strangers, and even for people we don’t like?

Dignity can transform how we see and treat ourselves and each other. 

The story from Brené Brown's Unlocking Us.

Join the mailing list at join.jenwilking.com to receive a weekly note from me and access to podcast extras.

Music by Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com

Questions for reflection:

• Are people doing the best they can?

• How are you with setting boundaries?

• Is there someone who is letting you down that might be doing their best? What boundaries could you set? Is there grief or guilt to process?

• Write the names of two people that you love and respect. Any two. Who pops into your mind?

• What does it mean to you to treat them with dignity? What does that look like in action?

• Write the names of two people you do not like or respect.

• What does it mean to you to treat them with dignity? What does that look like in action?

• What kind of thoughts or emotions showed up for the two sets of people?

Welcome to Depth & Dignity

The trailer & first episode

Depth & Dignity is about learning, unlearning, and becoming. It’s for curious people who want to understand themselves, improve their relationships, and experience more joy.

Hosted by Jen Wilking—a pelvic health physical therapist and deep-feeling human—this podcast explores the things school skipped and life keeps asking us to figure out: bodies, relationships, emotions, values, rest, resilience, and new chapters.

Jen brings honest insights, practical tools, and a sense of humor to a wide range of topics with a direct connection to everyday life. 

Learn something. Feel something. Do something.

Introducing Depth & Dignity with special thanks to Lisa Hamilton, Kristen Moore, and Shanté Cofield.

New episodes drop on Mondays. 

Sign up for my weekly email at join.jenwilking.com.

Music by Chris Collins, indiemusicbox.com